HOW DEEP IS YOUR GEEK LOVE?

1. Enchanted/Disney Wknd/$ 17.0 Total/$ 70.6
2. This Christmas/ScreenG Wknd/$ 8.6 Total/$ 36.9
3. Beowulf/Paramount Wknd/$ 7.9 Total/$ 68.6
4. Awake/MGM Wknd/$ 6.0 Total/$ 6.0
5. Hitman/Fox Wknd/$ 5.8 Total/$ 30.2
6. Fred Claus/Warner Wknd/$ 5.5 Total/$ 59.8
7. August Rush/Warner Wknd/$ 5.2 Total/$ 20.4
8. No Country For Old Men/Mira Wknd/$ 4.5 Total/$ 23.0
9. Bee Movie/DreamWorks Wknd/$ 4.5 Total/$ 117.6
10. American Gangster/Universal Wknd/$ 4.3 Total/$ 121.7

WICKED…ENCHANTED, I’M SENSING A TREND HERE.
Enchanted holds at number one and I still didn’t make it in to see this and it becomes less likely with every passing day. Though I was a little more motivated once I learned that Idina Menzel was also in it. She’s better known as the jackpot winner who married Taye Diggs, despite the fact he’s waaaay prettier than she is. Oh, yeah. She won a Tony for Best Actress for Wicked too. I know Rent blew and bombed, but she was the highlight of the movie and I cannot believe she hasn’t gotten better offers. Her Wicked co-star and fellow Tony-winner, Kristen Chenoweth, landed well if not on top with Pushing Daisies where she often gets to sing and is surrounded by fellow theater thespians Ellen Greene and Swoosie Kurtz (two time Tony winner). Since the producers are obviously inclined this way, by their choice of Raul Esparza, maybe they’ll give Idina a job too and get those 15-20 extra theater fans to tune in.

DENZEL WASHINGTON AND HALLE BERRY IN “FLAG DAY”
This Christmas holds at number two and I cannot hate on Mehki Phifer, because after two weeks this is up to $37M with a cost of only $13M, which means everybody who invested in this is going to seriously get paid and he was wisely a producer on this. And there’s still three weeks to Christmas! Despite my hatred of Chris Brown, I’d rather see something like this do well than Tyler Perry’s tripe. But this is only going to serve to piss off more actors who lost roles to no-talent non-actors like Chris Brown and rappers like David Banner, who also appears in this. I also fear for a sudden run on Black family films set around every holiday of the year. Snoop Dogg has an interesting take on Arbor Day I’m told. And the Eddie Murphy Valentine’s Day movie strangely has an all male cast and a huge make-up and wardrobe budget. Hmm. Co-star Ru Paul? Oh. Now I get it.

HERE AGAIN I PONTIFICATE ON A MOVIE I HAVE NOT SEEN
Beowulf holds at number three, followed by Awake opening at number four and this ad campaign was handled poorly, because if there’s something everyone is terrified of it’s being awake during a operation, but the ad seems more committed to be married to Jessica Alba then being awake during an operation. They don’t sell the gut fear of doctors and hospitals that we all have (especially when they steal your iPod and never reimburse you) and so it just looks dull. Not to mention, how do you build two hours around this? And then there’s the matter of giving away the evil plot to kill the guy in the trailer as well. What exactly goes on for two hours worth seeing, especially when we know that Jessica Alba doesn’t do nudity!?! This would have to be a well crafted piece of work to pull this off and the very fact that Jessica Alba is in it makes that very doubtful.

IN HINDSIGHT IT WAS BEST FOR ALL. WELL, MAYBE NOT ALL.
Hitman is down one notch to number five and also in this is Dougray Scott, who will forever suffer the ignominy of having been originally cast as Wolverine for The X-Men movies, but having to give it up because shooting on Mission Impossible 2 ran over due to struggles between Tom Cruise and John Woo (Thandie Newton would have missed on Charlie’s Angels anyway because she was pregnant). But it’s for the best because he’s looking pretty damn old here while Hugh Jackman is aging nicely as they prepare for the Wolverine spin-off film.

CAN YE GIVE US A HAND HERE, DA?
Fred Claus holds at number six followed by August Rush holding at number seven and this was directed by Kirsten Sheridan, the daughter of Jim Sheridan and she’s credited with co-writing In America along with her sister and father, and given the problems with this film, I guess we know just how much daddy carried his little girls. And now you know why it’s a distinctly Irish musician rather than just some American dude. But given the Sheridans know Bono (when I was working at the real estate agency, one of the brokers was working for the Sheridans and mentioned they were staying at Bono’s place in New York), would it have been too much to ask U2 for some better music for the Irish band in this movie? I’m still amazed as how much it sucked. Even The Corrs would have been an improvement. And this gives Terrance Howard two films in the top ten this week, neither one a street hood, which I’m sure is a deliberate effort on his part. He’s damn good as a bad guy, but even Christopher Walken breaks it up now and again.

NEWFLASH: UGLY OBNOXIOUS DUDES DON’T MAKE A LOT OF MONEY
No Country For Old Men rises to number eight as its theater count increases in order to improve Oscar awareness, while Bee Movie takes a massive drop to number nine and this hasn’t even made budget yet, even when you include the international take. It doesn’t help that Seinfeld is revealing himself to be the dick I’ve always suspected him to be in his publicity tour. And he didn’t help himself with his defense of his golddigging, waste-of-space wife when her book about the unoriginal idea of mixing vegetables with other foods to get kids to eat them (like a brownie with broccoli isn’t actually more disgusting than broccoli alone) was accused of plagiarism because a similar book was submitted to her publisher previously. He went on Letterman to trash the author of the other book even though it was others who’d accused his wife of stealing the idea and not her. So here was a famous multi-millionaire beating up on a woman no one had ever heard of while trying to sell something. Not wise. Compare it to the number ten film, American Gangster, which reportedly cost less, but has made more in the same time frame but with an “R” rating and longer running time. Probably because, while no saints themselves, Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe aren’t exactly ugly or lacking in charm. You really can’t say the same for Jerry Seinfeld. Though in all fairness, the reported budget of $100M most likely does not include the costs of the previous aborted version.

WHERE’S MY MAKING OF XANADU ARTICLE!?!
If you have a subscription to pretty much any Conde Nast magazine you probably got the “Movies That Rock” insert (I’ve gotten at least four). Usually, you can throw it away, but this one is actually worth keeping, especially when there are no longer any good movie magazines in the wake of the death of Premiere. It’s about rock music in the movies and in addition to Vanity Fair style photo layouts, a mini-reunion of The Commitments, ripping on celebrity albums (Bruce Willis, Jennifer Love Hewitt, etc), lists of best movie soundtracks (Jazz, Cult, Unreleased)---including listing the 50 best soundtracks (though missing The Rutles “All You Need Is Cash” while including crap like Garden State, Top Gun and stupidly Crooklyn over Do The Right Thing)---it has an amazing article on the genesis of Saturday Night Fever with interviews with most of the cast, including John Travolta, The Bee Gees and Paul Pape who played none other than Double J. He was actually a stage-trained actor who was pigeonholed by the role and now runs a production company. And while everyone knows about Denny Terio teaching Travolta to dance, the man who taught him to move was a six-foot black choreographer queen named Lester Wilson, who would put on music and tell Travolta, “Move with me, muthafucka---move with me!” Then there was the shakedown of the movie by certain elements in Bayridge where it was shot ($7K to Black Stan if youse wanna put lights by da bowling alley). Also, Saturday Night Fever didn’t give birth to the disco craze, it actually saved it when it was dying and then kicked it into the stratosphere. Man, I love that movie.

I COULD SWEAR HE HAD A THEME SONG
So a part of my childhood died with Evel Knievel. I don’t want to think how many stupid things we wouldn’t have done on our bikes if not for the example set by Evel. And then there were the knuckle-punishing toys. See the Evel toy bike sat in a cradle that you would wind up and then when it got fast enough you’d cut it loose with enough velocity to do jumps over whatever little ramps you’d set up. The problem was the crank wasn’t high enough so unless you were very careful, on every downturn you’d scrape your knuckle on the ground! Ah, toys from the past. It’s a miracle any of us lived to wax nostalgic on them.

FINAL REMINDER
At 6:00, Thursday, December 6th at Perdition at 692 10th Avenue (48th & 49th) I will begin paying homage to my pagan gods by imbibing at the nearest tavern and you are welcome to join me. It’s not a party, merely a drunken repudiation of both Christianity and modern medicine. I know who protected me from the evils of physical fitness and it wasn’t science or some Jewish hippie carpenter! For a second I wondered if I screwed up, as this kinda interferes with my dinner, but then I remembered they not only serve food there, they actually have empanadas from Empanada Mama, so I might just bring a toothbrush and a change of clothes, because there’s no real reason to leave. And apparently this is my week to drink, as Around The Way Girl is having an actual party the following night. Needless to say, we are not going into work on Friday. Maybe not even Monday.